Thursday, January 29, 2009

Does anyone like Wildwood BBQ?...

...'Cause I certainly did not. Not even close. Worst NYC BBQ I have had to date. Sorry Dallas BBQ, you just moved up one notch from the basement. I will qualify this review with the fact that I ate there one night in the first week they were open for business, so things could have improved since then. My friend said as we walked in, "I didn't realize this is where we are eating! This place is a doomed space. Everything Steve Hansen puts in here ends up failing. We are in for a baaaad meal. I can feel it already." And after waiting an 45 minutes at the crowded bar, he was right.

I realized up front the service would probably be awful. I mean who has their service down pat in the first few nights of operation? It just doesn't realistically happen, and it did not on this night either. I think we had three different servers during the evening and the first one disappeared and never returned. At one point the hostess had become our server, trying to do whatever she could to help save the sinking ship. Anyway, it was the food that really concerned me. You don't learn how to smoke meat on the fly when opening a BBQ restaurant, you better have a damn good knack for that coming into this endeavor!

Obviously I am sure they have experience, and maybe they are still getting used to their smokers, but I found it to be hit and miss - and mostly miss. Also, the space is way to large, impersonal, and souless for a BBQ joint. Table service in cramped quarters with a typical NYC hot spot look and feel, as well as a loud crowd that was way too well dressed for the venue - or would have been had it not had that chichi feel to it. Not how I like my BBQ joints to look and feel. Give me down and dirty and a tiny shanty shack on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere with a pitmaster who was raised smoking 'Que by his daddy and his daddy's daddy (and so on), and I'll take that any day over this corporate bull shi*t!!!

I did not find much of my food satisfying. The lamb ribs were an odd addition to the menu, so we obviously tried that - fatty beyond belief. I could barely find any meat on that bone to justify it being worth going back for a second rib, but of course, glutton for punishment that I am, more high fat/low meat ratio on #2. The other styles of ribs (Kansas City and St. Louis, maybe?) were not memorable, but certainly passable. They were firm enough and not too fall-off-the-bone, which usually means an oversmoked rib. The brisket was way too lean and not nearly enough marbeling or moistness going on. I may have just gotten a bad cut, but serving lean brisket is like ordering your steak well done - why even bother? The chicken was OK, but who can fuck up chicken? The sides were rather small in size. Not exactly family style. The sausage was solid and I think my Diet Coke tasted good. Nothing like good fountain soda.

A few friends of mine ate there a few weeks later and this was the reveiw I saw afterward:

"Feces, faeces, or fæces is a waste product from a digestive tract expelledthrough the anus (or cloaca) during defecation. The word faeces is theplural of the Latin word fæx meaning "dregs".

You may think I am talking about sh*t, however I am talking about Wildwood (dregs) BBQ which may actually be the same thing given our experience lastnight. Steve Hanson has once again taken the one thing that is almost impossible to mess up (there is no such thing as bad BBQ) and turn it into an all around horrible experience from the first breathe of the faux smoker that has the looks of a chinese death wheel with bits of torture wood. The margarita I had was so sweet I had to inject myself to insure diabetes didn't set in prior to my departure which could not have come soon enough. This is the point I blacked out due to frustration or the fact it took 1.5 hours to seat us after every other person who came in after us had already left. I should have know what our future had in store when these BBQ zombies left without the leftovers, who does that?

I HATE THIS PLACE AND CURSE ANYONE WHO TREATS BBQ LIKE A DIRTY WATER DOG. Hindsight being 20/20, I would have gone for the dirty water dog.

-Peter Vankman"

editors note - Both this review (and the review within the review) were delayed because, well, I am a delayed human being and I took awhile to getting around to it. I am sure, especially due to the close proximity of my apt. to Wildwood BBQ, I will give it another shot. But I can assure you it will be in due time and I will not be rushing to it anytime soon.

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